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How to Proceed When One Parent Requires Nursing Home Care but the Other Doesn't

You probably imagined your parents would grow old together, walking hand-in-hand and helping one another through the trials and tribulations of the aging process. However, this isn't always the case. One parent may need more care than the other, and you could find yourself needing to place one parent in a nursing home. Handling this situation can be difficult, but here are some suggestions to help you through this difficult time.

Determining the Level of Care

First and foremost, evaluate your parent to determine if they require assisted living or nursing care. Assisted living is ideal when they can no longer live independently, but don't have a serious health condition that requires continuous monitoring. 

Nursing home care, on the other hand, is beneficial if your loved one has a chronic ailment that requires continuous monitoring. Your mom or dad could also use this level of care if they have multiple co-existing conditions or complex health concerns that require the expertise of nurses. 

Finding the Right Home

As you're searching for a home, make sure you read reviews to help you compare. Call the ones that seem most appealing and rank highly. Margolis Bloom & D’Agostino suggests  asking questions, such as the following:

•           How many residents are in your facility?

•           What is the staff-to-resident ratio?

•           What special features, such as activity programs or a garden, are available?

•           What is the cost?

•           What insurance plans are accepted?

After you compare, schedule a tour. During the visit, look around at the condition of the building and the happiness of the residents. 

Affording Care

Before you move your loved one into a nursing home, you have to know how you're going to fund it. Begin by checking your mom or dad's insurance and seeing how much, if any, of a nursing home stay is covered.

Check into Medicaid. Even if your loved one never qualified for this program in the past, notes that they may qualify for nursing home coverage since the income limits are higher. 

Look into any stocks, savings accounts, or other sources of money your parent may have. Make sure you consider leaving money for your other parent to live. 

Contending With the Struggles of Separating Parents

Separating your parents may be a struggle. For the parent going into a facility, it's vital to mention that you feel it's for your loved one's safety and well-being. Point out the perks of living in a nursing home, such as the parent no longer needing to grocery shop or clean

For the other parent, you need to stress that their spouse needs help that's more than the family can address. Remind them that it's best for their partner's health and wellness.


If their partner’s new residence is not in the neighborhood, suggest the possibility of downsizing and moving to a location closer to the facility so they can spend more time together. Downsizing can also free up some financial resources to help pay for their spouse’s care, especially if they purchase a Real Estate Owned, or REO, property.

These are foreclosed homes that are sold for a lower price. What does foreclosure mean? It means that the previous owners were not able to pay their mortgage consistently and on time, so the bank attempts to sell the home at a lower price to recover some of their lost money. REOs can be a great opportunity to downsize and save money.

Technology for the Parent Still at Home 

Smart home technology offers numerous benefits for the parent who remains at home, enhancing their safety, comfort, and independence. Automated systems like smart thermostats and lighting reduce the need for physical exertion, making it easier to manage home environments. Security is significantly improved with smart locks and cameras, providing peace of mind for both seniors and their caregivers.

Health monitoring is another major advantage; wearable devices can track vital signs and alert medical personnel in emergencies. Voice-activated assistants aid in reducing feelings of isolation by enabling easy communication with friends and family, and also assist in daily tasks like setting reminders for medication. Additionally, smart appliances can simplify household chores, reducing the physical and cognitive burden on seniors.

The good news is that, should a device or smart home system have operational errors, it’s possible to DIY troubleshooting instead of paying someone to visit the home for fixes. Visit sites online that offer expert advice and recommendations for steps to take.

Benefits of Hiring a Moving Company 

Right now, your main priorities should be finding a home for your mother or father and taking care of the other parent emotionally. Therefore, it could reduce some stress on you by hiring a moving company to assist. 

Use the internet to help you find moving companies in the area. Before you select one, search around and check out the reviews. Ideally, you want a company with few negative reviews and a high star rating.

Make the Process as Easy as Possible

This process is emotionally and mentally draining. By knowing the steps, you can make the process easier for everyone. Getting your parents the care they need is vital, but so is helping your other parent adjust through the transition.

Thanks to guest author, Julie Morris, of, for the information in this post!

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