The Wisdom of Worry: What to Hold and What to Release

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"Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere." - Erma Bombeck

Last Tuesday, I watched my neighbor pace his driveway for twenty minutes, phone pressed to his ear, stress radiating from every gesture. When I asked him later what was wrong, he laughed nervously. "Oh, just worried about whether it might rain for my daughter's outdoor graduation next weekend."

The weather. Seven days away.

I found myself thinking of my good friend Dick Wagner, the financial planning guru who had a simple response whenever someone brought him a problem: "So what are you going to do about it?"

Dick understood something profound about worry that most of us miss. He knew the difference between productive concern and useless mental spinning. And he always cut straight to the heart of the matter with that one question.

The Ancient Compass for Modern Worry

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus gave us perhaps the most practical wisdom ever shared about worry: "Some things are within our power, while others are not." Simple words that carry the weight of transformation.

But here's what's beautiful about this ancient insight—it doesn't dismiss worry as weakness or tell us to "just stop worrying." Instead, it offers us a compass. A way to sort through the mental clutter and direct our energy where it can actually make a difference.

Dick Wagner's question works the same way. It's not harsh or dismissive. It's clarifying. It separates the doers from the worriers, the actors from the reactors.

What We Cannot Control (And Dick's Question Still Applies)

Let's start with the hard truth: Most of what we worry about falls into this category.

The weather for next week's graduation. Whether other people will like us. The stock market's next move. Our teenage children's choices when they're out of our sight. Whether we'll get that promotion. Global politics. Traffic jams. Other people's opinions about our life choices.

"You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength," Marcus Aurelius reminds us.

When we worry about these things, we're essentially trying to control the ocean with our bare hands. But even here, Dick's question has power: "So what are you going to do about it?"

The answer might be: "I'm going to accept it. I'm going to prepare for multiple outcomes. I'm going to focus on what I can control instead."

That's still doing something. It's choosing conscious acceptance over helpless worry.

What We Can Control (Where Dick's Question Really Shines)

The list of what we actually control is surprisingly short—and surprisingly powerful.

We control our responses. Our choices in this moment. Our attitudes. How we treat others. The effort we put into our work. The kindness we offer. The books we read. The thoughts we choose to entertain or dismiss.

As Viktor Frankl, who survived the Nazi concentration camps, wrote: "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances."

This is where Dick's question becomes transformative. When we worry about something we can actually influence, his response shifts us from victim to actor, from worrier to doer.

Worried about your health? So what are you going to do about it? Exercise today. Eat better. Schedule that checkup.

Worried about your relationships? So what are you going to do about it? Have that difficult conversation. Show up more fully. Practice listening.

The Practice: Dick's Question as Your Guide

Here's how to handle worry practically, using Dick Wagner's simple wisdom as our North Star.

Step 1: Notice the worry without judgment.

Step 2: Ask Dick's question: "So what are you going to do about it?"

Step 3: If you can take action, take it. However small.

Step 4: If you cannot take action, choose your response consciously. Accept. Release. Redirect.

As the Serenity Prayer wisely puts it: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

Dick's question helps us find that wisdom.

The Purpose Connection

Here's what I've learned in my own journey from corporate success to purposeful living: when we're aligned with our deeper purpose, Dick's question becomes even more powerful.

"The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something," Barack Obama once said. When that "something" connects to your purpose, worry transforms from anxiety into energy for meaningful action.

I remember sharing a worry with Dick once about whether my work was making a real difference. His response? "So what are you going to do about it?"

That question led me to be more intentional, more focused, more willing to measure impact rather than just activity. It shifted me from worrying about success to creating meaning.

A Different Kind of Success

In our achievement-obsessed culture, we're taught to worry about all the wrong things. Market performance. Social media likes. Keeping up with the neighbors' new car.

But what if we applied Dick's question to these worries too?

Worried about what others think of your choices? So what are you going to do about it? Live more authentically. Focus on your values, not their opinions.

Worried about not having enough stuff? So what are you going to do about it? Define "enough" for yourself. Find richness in experiences, relationships, and purpose rather than possessions.

As Dr. Seuss reminds us: "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."

Dick would have loved that quote. It's about taking ownership of your unique path.

Your Next Step (Dick's Question for You)

Right now, you're probably worrying about something. I know I am.

Here's Dick Wagner's question for you: "So what are you going to do about it?"

Not tomorrow. Not next week. Right now.

Can you influence it? Take one small action.

Can't control it? Choose your response. Accept it. Release it. Redirect your energy to something you can influence.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength," Corrie ten Boom taught us.

Dick Wagner understood this deeply. Every problem was an opportunity to act, to choose, to step into your power rather than give it away to circumstances.

The Legacy of a Simple Question

Dick Wagner passed away several years ago, but his question lives on. It's still changing lives, still cutting through worry to get to what matters.

Because that's what the question really asks: What matters enough to you that you'll do something about it?

Your worry was never meant to be a prison. It was meant to be information, pointing you toward what deserves your attention and energy.

The world needs you focused on what you can actually influence—on the actions you can take, the love you can give, the purpose you can serve.

So let me ask you Dick's question one more time: "So what are you going to do about it?"

The rocking chair of worry will always be there, ready to give you something to do. But the path of purpose is calling, and it requires action, not anxiety.

Which will you choose?

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